Once Bitten, Twice Shy (Life Lessons About Gossip)
It happened long ago that I got into trouble for being involved in gossip. Yep, you read right. I will save you details… But for a long time, the bitterness and pain of the misconstrued event were my companions.
Ever since that event, if I smell gossip coming around me or my way, I find a way to either kill it, ignore it, change the narrative… And most especially not to give my opinion about the matter.
I can’t imagine having to go through the trauma of my words being flipped over a thousand times against me.
Now, this is why I’m taking you down memory lane,
On an average, you must have experienced at least one event that you don’t wish to happen again. Perhaps because of the lessons you learnt the first time, maybe it was not a palatable one…
But somehow, you stand at risk of falling for it again. Not because you are a bad person… But because you are handling the matter passively.
I’d give you a practical example, since we started on the note of gossip, it is safe to traverse along that line of thought.
Now, if gossip has ever come your way, you’d know it is usually subtle and you may have said 10times before that you will not gossip. But when the gossip vector arrives you’d hear an opening statement or question about another person most times (antagonistic or jealous) seeking to hear your thoughts. Actually, hoping to create a team.
That moment is your door or call it window of opportunity to run for your life. A good response can be you directing the statement back to the vector… Rather than expressing your personal dislike for the fellow being gossiped about (because often times there is a something you are displeased about and you think you have to say)… No, you don’t have to say it.
So you may ask politely, ‘Have you discussed this matter with the person or don’t you think we should spend some good time praying about this matter since our discussion can not have a direct impact on the situation Whatever you do, make it clear and obvious you are not interested.
Now, everytime we are faced with various situations, there is always a way out.
How do I know this…
There is a promise, God said, we would not be tempted beyond our abilities.
1Cor.10.13 – No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
Now, here is my point, that thing that when it comes your way, you begin to cringe… There is a way out.
It may not be a case of Gossip coming your way, it could be poor time management, temptation of premarital sex, desire to over spend money that has other assignment, temptation to cheat (work or school)…
The way out:
When you choose not to just satisfy yourself, you will see the obvious way out. If you can’t see it, ask God for help. If your strength fails you, ask him for strength to do the needful which may come as wisdom, ability to say ‘No’ or fire in your bones to flee the appearance of wickedness or evil.
There is always a way out… Because, obviously the yielding to temptations are disastrous.
This Nollywood statement ‘The devil pushed me’ doesn’t hold water in reality. There are always consequences.
It is possible to not replicate your mistakes. Once bitten, twice shy…
The first time, though avoidable has helped you identify flaws and recognize that you can fall for it…
The second time should not happen … And there is always a way out.
May God grant you wisdom to flee from all that won’t profit you in Jesus name, Amen.
PS: I find this relevant to share with you… I was getting ready to share a few thoughts on a trending issue this week when this message about Gossip was laid on my heart. It might interest you to know that I saw Pastor Poju Oyemade’s Instagram post after I had written and shared my message. Please take it serious.
Grace to you.